Monday, June 13, 2005

Whooooo are you?

A few days ago the roommates and I were flipping around cable channels and eventually settled on some reruns of CSI. Now unlike, say, the roughly 200 billion people that regularly make CSI the highest-rated show on television, I'd only seen one episode of the show in my life, so it was interesting to see what all the fuss was about.

Dudes, that show is GROSS. One episode we saw featured a dead cheerleader who had been killed and PARTIALLY EATEN by her friends who were high on PCP. There was a scene where a charcter was rifiling through this guy's VOMIT, in order to find PIECES of the PARTIALLY EATEN cheerleader. The most popular show on television, people. Woof!

Some lessons I've learned from the now three episodes I've seen of CSI:

Crime scene investigators not only investigate crime scens, they also totally do all the work of homicide detectives, as well! Nice work on doubling up those roles, city of Las Vegas! Also, they have awesome computer technology from the future! (David Simon has specifically cited CSI, with its pat resolutions and completely unrealistic, high-tech police work, as an impetus to create The Wire.)

If you ever deviate from heterosexual, missionary-position sex, you will die in one of a thousand grisly ways. It's God's way of punishing you.

If you've heard these gags before, I apologize. I arrived late to the party.

PS - Speaking of CSI and therefore William Peterson, if you saw Red Dragon but haven't seen Manhunter, then for God's sake, see Manhunter. Witness how awesome that story can be when I decent director is at the helm!


Blogger Paul said...

My mother, the eye doctor, watches CSI from time to time and says that whenever the case somehow involves eyes, all of their facts and science are just plain wrong.

11:20 AM  

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