New slang
You know how the kids these days, when they want to say something is bad, they say it is "gay"?
That's not cool.
Which is why Emory and I have come up with a sweet alternative. Instead of saying "gay" to mean bad, say "Kazaam." Yes, this is in reference to the film starring Shaq. Have you seen that movie? It is KAZAAM. Here's an example of proper usage!
"Man, did you see X3? That shit was kazaam!"
Now you can say what you feel without ragging on homosexuals!
....
Needless to say, there is some confusion sometimes. Here's a true mini-play starring me and Emory.
Re: The Neverending Story
JEFF: That movie is so gay.
EMORY: Don't you mean "kazaam"?
JEFF: No. I mean that the movie is ragingly homosexual.
Some stuff is just straight-up gay no matter how you slice it.
That's not cool.
Which is why Emory and I have come up with a sweet alternative. Instead of saying "gay" to mean bad, say "Kazaam." Yes, this is in reference to the film starring Shaq. Have you seen that movie? It is KAZAAM. Here's an example of proper usage!
"Man, did you see X3? That shit was kazaam!"
Now you can say what you feel without ragging on homosexuals!
....
Needless to say, there is some confusion sometimes. Here's a true mini-play starring me and Emory.
Re: The Neverending Story
JEFF: That movie is so gay.
EMORY: Don't you mean "kazaam"?
JEFF: No. I mean that the movie is ragingly homosexual.
Some stuff is just straight-up gay no matter how you slice it.
posted by Jeff at 3:55 PM
6 Comments:
okay, that's hilarious. you get the prize for today.
however, there was just one thing i wasn't quite clear on: are you implying that shaq isn't homosexual?
Your "true-life" mini-play is nothing but historical revisionism! My role has been grossly omitted, and my lines assigned to other players! Am I supposed to assume in your mini-plays from now on that Emory and I are composite characters? You're a douche!
I used to think Atreyu was a girl. Does that make me kazaam?
Frank - If you had your own blog, these things wouldn't happen.
Paul - No, it just makes Neverending Story gay, gay, gay.
And just to make things perfectly clear, "kazaam" should not mean gay in the actual, homosexual sense. It should just mean "bad."
Coincidentally, I learned today that one of my managers at the restaurant had a small role in Kazaam. He says Shaq will not let you make a basket, even if you are just playing pretend movie basketball.
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