Friday, November 18, 2005

ROCK!

Dudes. Emory and Leslie have this sweet new computer, and Emory's been using its power to download TV shows and burn them to DVDs, and just yesterday the complete run of Sifl and Olly finished downloading.

Honestly, people? I can't tell you how much this news fills my heart with song. In the rather dark days of the beginning of college, it was a bright spot. Freshman year I would confound my roommate by sneaking off at 4 PM to head to the common room and watch the second season. Bit by bit, my friends started watching with me, until S&O references were widely recognized and revered. That show was pure love. And while I'm glad Liam Lynch is finally getting mainstream success (he directed Jesus Is Magic and the upcoming Tenancious D movie, and "United States of Whatever" actually got some radio play, itself originally a Sifl and Olly song), I don't know if he'll ever top some of the stuff that took place on this fine program. Sugarbunny, the Tooth Fairy, Jargon Scott, Chester, Precious Roy... oh, Precious Roy.

In fact, here's a smidge of a Precious Roy bit where Sifl and Olly are selling Elf Motels:

Sifl: Hi everybody, welcome to the Precious Roy Home Shopping Network. I'm Sifl... and this is my friend Olly.

Olly: (breathes in deeply) Folks if you're like me your legs are all SCARRED UP AND ITCHY WITH ELF BITES. OOOOH, IT'S ITCHY. OOHH. You know you've tried the bug sprays, you left small poisonous cupcakes out for them, you've called the exterminator and every wizard in the phone book, but despite your attempts, you just can't get rid of these darn elves. You know. I bet, you know, you're asking me, Precious Roy how can I get rid of these fucking elves?

Sifl: Dude.

Olly: Folks, you're not dealing with a cockroach or a rat here. You're dealing with a small irritable magical man. Armed to the teeth with a thousand deadly jigs and dance steps.

Sifl: Oh you know the problems I've been having dancing with elves.

Olly: Sifl, You've had a lot of serious ass dirty dancing with elves problems. Folks, there's always vacancies at the Precious Roy Elf Hotel. Elves check in but they don't check out, YOU DIG MOTHER. You know, I know what you're thinking Sifl, you're thinking "How does it work?"

Sifl: No, actually I was thinking about Jaquiline Smith.

Olly: Exactly. Everyone knows that an elf can't resist a hooker in a Hotel room.

Sifl: What?

Olly: It's a simple equation folks. Prostitution, divided by Hotels, equals dead Elves. How does it work? The elves are attracted to the sign outside. "Hookers. I can't wait to get the hookers." They go in, hop in the sack and they try to do the horizontal jig in super glue for the last time. Those... Little... Bastards... Will... Pay... let's take, some calls.


It's the "small, irritable, magical man" line that always cracks me up. And the math equation at the end. And the way he says "Ooooh!" when his ankles are all itchy with elf bites.

It's all of it, really. All of it, forever and ever.

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