"It's not a jewel, it's some horrible, dried-up piece of crap."

If you haven't already watched the pilot for The Amazing Screw-On Head, I encourage you to do so. The writing's quite wry, and the voice-acting is superb, particularly David Hyde-Pierce as Emperor Zombie. I mean, it's a robotic screw-on head fighting the forces of darkness on behalf of President Lincoln. That's something I'd like to see on my TV every week, thank you.