Monday, January 29, 2007

Royal Rumble!

Ah, good times. This was our first Royal Rumble match at Llama School, and we invited some folks over to mark the occasion. Most of those kids aren't into wrestling, but everyone seemed to have a good time, regardless. After all, everyone loves dudes hitting each other. Here are some of my thoughts on the matches.

Hardys vs. MNM - Solid enough, although surely there'll be a ladder match sequel in the pipe for Wrestlemania, right? Although since MNM has lost every match involved in the fued, a match like that doesn't seem very climactic. Still, I like watching all of these guys do their thing.

Lashley vs. Test - God. So earlier this week on free TV, Lashley beat Test clean. And then there was this abomination, in which Lashley dominated unti Test decided to just walk off. Because everyone loves a count-out ending. Boo. So now that all of Test's credibility has been burned to the ground, how many top heels are left on ECW? None? That's what I thought.

Batista vs. Kennedy - Kennedy's really grown on me the last few weeks, so I was surprised to hear the crowd actually chant for him. Not to mention that he had Batista pinned but the ref was knocked out. I mean, he's still meant to be a heel, right? Weird bit of booking, unless it's to build Batista turning heel before fighting Undertaker at Wrestlemania? I don't know. The weird role-reversal was really the most interesting part of the match.

Cena vs. Umaga - If you had told me three days ago that I would enjoy this match the most out of the three title shots, I possibly would have slapped you. Still, this was pretty awesome. Cena bleeding like a stuck pig, Umaga smashing through the ECW table (only to get up again!), and finally Cena strangling Umaga with the top rope, leading to an overly melodramatic "Cena wins... BUT AT WHAT COST?" ending that I found hilarious and excellent. Among the viewers at Llama School, this one brought the house down. Emory even expressed a desire to watch RAW tonight. Truly, a Christmas miracle.

Royal Rumble - Actually ended like I expected it to, with Undertaker triumphant, so Emory was a happy man. (That's right, Alan! Undertaker is not only still around, he won the Royal Rumble!) Good times to be had before then, with some of my favorite guys lasting awhile, only to be cleared out by Khali. Plus Edge made it to the final four!


"Oh, I see. This is all just happening in Ric Flair's head." - Frank, when Kelly Kelly and the other ECW ladies inexplicably began freak dancing backstage with Flair under disco lights that came out of nowhere.

If you're reading this and came out, thanks for coming. Hope you had a good time. I certainly did. Hopefully we'll see you again for Wrestlemania!


Anonymous Leslie said...

Hell yeah! Cena's all "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!" and Umaga's all "gurgle." And then Cena's all "WHAT HAVE I BECOME?" and Umaga's all "glrg." It's like Cena's personal Vietnam.

In other news, more Kevin Thorne, please!

3:29 PM  
Blogger Hollywood said...

I expect a full report about the fallout of Cena after RAW tonight.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

The best was that Cena had to strangle him TWICE. Cena was all "Though it may cost me my soul, I must vanguish you!" but Umaga gets back up and is like "You're going to have to KILL ME!" and Cena's all "Noooooo!" but then he does it anyway.

I wish they said stuff like that in the ring.

5:08 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Cena was totally fine. Chipper, even. I suppose depressed, angry Cena wouldn't sell merchandise, although it might make him actually interesting.

7:56 PM  
Blogger Hollywood said...

Chipper? That's not an arc. Maybe he has a split personality or amnesia and he doesn't remember all the choking he did.

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Frank said...

Maybe he's the Dark Half.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Alan said...

Is WWE so bereft of talent that Undertaker is still winning Royal Rumbles? I mean, I was a huge fan of his... in high school... and even then, he was having hip surgeries.

Furthermore, Ric Flair isn't dead?!?! WHAT??? Man, at least tell me he still does the trademark "WHOOOOO!" Nature Boy, my ass.

11:54 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

You better believe he still goes "Whooo!" Also, everyone really wishes he would put his shirt back on because he is super gross looking.

2:36 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Flair was the first guy into the Rumble, and mercifully was also the first guy eliminated, thus saving us from looking at his sagging man boobs.

"Is WWE so bereft of talent that Undertaker is still winning Royal Rumbles?"

This is sort of true. The last two guys in the ring were Undertaker and Shawn Michaels, so either way it was going to someone over 40. The WWE really needs to promote some fresher talent.

4:08 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home