Monday, May 15, 2006

The Girl Who Is Rushed to the Emergency Room


Woo, I'm behind again! Big finale's in a mere two days, but you've got two recaps to go before then!

We open with Furonda being nervous about being in the bottom two last episode, Sara saying that she's not really a model, but she's trying to fake it, and Jade saying nice-but-actually-mean things to Joanie. Jade interviews that she doesn't think Joanie has what it takes to be a model. I think she is saying this because she knows Joanie is serious competition.

The next day the girls head to the Patravadi theater to learn about traditional Thai dance. As the girls learn the moves, Danielle interviews that she's not feeling well. Uh-oh!

At lunch, Joanie and Jade get in an argument. Joanie says that Jade is defensive. Jade gets incredibly defensive about being called defensive. No one's raising voice or anything, which is just one reason why this season pales compared to last year's. Furonda hilariously interviews that when Joanie and Jade fight it just sounds like "Wah wah wah" to her. You know, like the adults in Peanuts. Furonda is kind of right.

Then Joanie wins my heart EVEN MORE by laying out this great line in her interview about Jade: "Even when I sit next to her, all I smell is just... bitch." Barring some last-minute gold, that is the quote of the season. Joanie's my girlfriend.

During all this, Danielle sneaks off. She goes to the hospital and it turns out she's suffering from dehydration, exhaustion and as she later puts it, "a little bit of food poisoning." Poor Danielle. She's okay, though. Nothing life-threatening.

Meanwhile, the girls notice Danielle is gone. She's going to miss their challenge! Each of the girls gets to wear a traditional Thai outfit and perform Thai dance for a surprisingly large audience. Jade dances okay, but she looks pissed. Joanie does pretty well and smiles the whole time. Sara is (surprise!) awkward. And Furonda? Well... just look. It's sort of the greatest. Note the audience's reaction.

Anyway, Joanie winds up winning the challenge, and picks Sara to come with her because Sara hasn't won anything yet. Ah, pity. They have dinner with some woman from Elle magazine.

That night, Danielle checks herself out of the hospital against her doctor's orders in order to do the photo shoot the next day. She's a trouper.

The next day, the girls head into the jungle, only to find Jay Manuel crashing through the underbrush on an elephant. Rad. Today the girls will be posing with the elephant and promoting some vibrating razor for women. That sounds dangerous (the razor, not the posing).

Danielle goes first, and does well despite still feeling bad. Jade is next, and does okay. Furonda goes, and sucks. Joanie kicks major ass. The elephant seems to really like her. Sara watches Joanie pose, and when it's her turn, mimics some of Joanie's shots, only not good. Joanie is irritated that Sara is copying her.

Panel! The girls have to perform a few emotions wearing a mask. They are sensuality, despair, and compassion. Everyone looks sort of ridiculous and I am reminded of stupid shit we had to do in Acting II. The judges look at the girls' photos, and agree that Joanie ruled. And that Sara is kind of lame for copying her. Nigel thinks Joanie looks like crap in person. Furonda's photos were particularly weak.

Elimination! Joanie, Danielle, and Sara's names are called. Down to Furonda and Jade. Jade tells Furonda she's a shitty model, and once again reminds Jade that she is an irritating nutjob who does not necessarily know what's best all the time. Furonda's going home.

Jade's been in the bottom two, what, four times? She's like a cockroach.

Next time: Go-sees and bikinis! Who knows when I'll get around to it!


Anonymous Frank said...

I thought Nigel wanted to kiss Joanie. Was that someone else?

I also want to know what your Freudian slippy identification of Tyra as "Jade" says about you.

8:51 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Nigel wants to kiss everyone. That's just how Nigel rolls.

And I think my slip up only indicates that I type these things up VERY quickly. Proofing's for jerks.

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

Exactly. Thank God you don't do it for a living.

11:48 PM  

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