I'm a mark for wrestling slang

The other night I noted that using the term "fish vagina" in a sketch would result in a "cheap pop" and Paul immediately said, "Cheap pop? What, are you just inserting wrestling slang into your everyday speech now?"

I was really annoyed that someone caught on to my plan so quickly.

Metas, metas, everywhere

Hey, I did see some TV recently that wasn't wrestling!

It's nice to know that despite the high-profile (and higher budgeted) Heroes hogging the superpowers spotlight, there's still room in my heart for The 4400's low-rent charm. The show is so loveable, with its ideas that seem cooler on paper than in execution, somewhat sub-par acting, and people who are just a hair's breadth from being actually attractive. I missed you, The 4400! And now Bill Campbell's a regular! He's in the opening credits and everything! The world is gonna get ROCKETEERED!

The Draft Deux

After yesterday's supplementary draft, here's the complete list of who's going where, thanks to Wrestling at Inside Pulse.

In a canny move, Raw added London and Kendrick to their roster, thus ensuring that I would continue to watch. I could resist when it was just Booker and Kennedy on there, but all those guys together?

I know you don't care, but the good news is that I don't care that you don't care.

RAW (adds 11, loses 10)

(RAW): King Booker & Queen Sharmell (from SmackDown)
(RAW): Bobbly Lashley (from ECW)
(RAW): Gene Snitsky (from ECW)
(RAW): Mr. Kennedy (from SmackDown)
(RAW): Brian Kendrick & Paul London (from SmackDown)
(RAW): The Sandman (from ECW)
(RAW): Khosrow Daivari (from SmackDown)
(RAW): William Regal (from SmackDown)
(RAW): Jillian Hall (from SmackDown)

SD (adds 11, loses 11)

(SD): The Great Khali & Runjin Singh (from RAW)
(SD): Torrie Wilson (from RAW)
(SD): Chris Masters (from RAW)
(SD): Ric Flair (from RAW)
(SD): Kenny Dykstra (from RAW)
(SD): Hardcore Holly (from ECW)
(SD): Brett Major & Brian Major (from ECW)
(SD): Victoria (from RAW)
(SD): Eugene Dinsmore (from RAW)

ECW (adds 5, loses 6)

(ECW): The Boogeyman (from SmackDown)
(ECW): Chris Benoit (from SmackDown)
(ECW): Viscera (from RAW)
(ECW): The Miz (from SmackDown)
(ECW): Johnny Nitro (from RAW)

The Draft

Yeah, so the big WWE draft was last night. I'll sum it up quickly: Smackdown got cut off at the knees. Going into the draft, they had the best all-around roster, and Raw was really struggling (with Triple H, Shawn Michaels out due to injuries and Edge off to Smackdown, Raw really only had two main eventers left: Cena and Randy Orton). So Basically Raw cherry-picked Smackdown and ECW's top guys, then shifted its dead weight to Smackdown. Amusingly enough, that actually worked out great for ECW.

Raw got:
King Booker (nooo!)
Bobby Lashely (who was duly stripped of his ECW title)
Snitsky (now he and Lashley can fued and I won't have to watch it)
Mr. Kennedy (noooooooo!)

So to make up for their lack of top guys they brought in Booker and Lashley, and Mr. Kennedy for star power (since he could easily turn face when he comes back from injury). Also, Snitsky.

Smackdown got:
The Great Khali (argh)
Chris Masters (ARGH)
Torrie Wilson (why?)
Ric Flair (man boobs!)

Just bask in that list. You'll note that no top faces are there. So if Edge retains against Batista (yet again) at Vengeance, then who's he going to fight? If only there were a face on Smackdown who's been really impressive lately and has a good-to-go fued with Edge because he hates him in real life and has been on the cusp of the main event for years? Oh yeah. And if not Hardy, Rey Mysterio will be back later this summer. You better believe I'm excited for that shit. Then again, every single belt on Smackdown is currently held by a villain. So why bring in more heels?

ECW got:
Boogeyman (yay?)
Chris Benoit (hmm)

Unlike Leslie and Emory, I don't really have anything against Chris Benoit. He actually started out in ECW, and might fit right in. We'll see. Boogeyman will do his regular schtick. The interesting thing is what ECW lost. Now that Lashley and Snitsky aren't going to be forced down our throats week in and week out, that just means more CM Punk and Burke. Sold. Plus the title is vacated, so the ECW title will actually wind up being contested and defended on ECW! Imagine! (The past few months Lashley has mostly been defending it or chasing it on Raw.) So yeah, ECW could get interesting.

There's a secondary draft tomorrow on WWE.com, presumeably swapping around the guys you don't see on TV very much. If anything interesting happens, I'll let you know.

Oh, and after the draft was over last night, they blew up Vince McMahon.



NOT A JOKE.

The perils of being me

I took a shower this morning and washed my hair. OR SO I THOUGHT. Now that my hair's dry it seems still pretty greasy and dirty. I think I may have forgotten to shampoo my hair after I got it wet. I am a mess.

PS The Atrox is today's featured comic on the webcomic site Drunk Duck. It's awfully strange. Also "Sad Leigh" is up on YouTube and "Laundry Day" is up at Funny or Die. I'd give you direct links but you're all adults and can handle such things yourselves.

CONNED!

Team Atrox Unlimited's 2007 Mayday entry, "Sad Leigh to Late," is now up over at The Lair. Check it out if you haven't already, or see it again and relive the magic! This motherfucker's so cool that when sheep fall asleep, they count this movie. Or something!

FUN FACT: Partway through filming Nell admitted she was just playing her role as she imagined I would play it, which I think gives me at least a 30% claim on her Best Female Performance award. Also, it means that if I do any of her lines it makes Emory really uncomfortable, since he is deeply disquieted by the existence of a good-looking female me, performance or no.

Now TV is over

All the shows have wrapped up (except The Sopranos, but I haven't seen the last two episodes of that, anyway), so let's take a look at them, shall we? Spoilers, probably.

Veronica Mars - Aw, I'll miss you Veronica Mars, even if this season was a bit bumpy. Fortunately the show recovered from its slump for the last two episodes, which featured Veronica taking down a bunch of rich jerks in the mighty Mars manner. But then she cost her Dad the election! A down note to end on, but appropriate.

Lost - This season's "most improved" award! Seriously, by the last third of this season I was actually EXCITED to watch new episodes of Lost! I know! Even that stupid van episode paid off! And I actually liked Charlie in the last few episodes! And stuff happened! Please keep it up, Lost! The ratings drop off was the best thing that ever happened to this show.

Heroes - A pretty anti-climactic ending. Honestly, while Lost has been known for its pokey pacing, Heroes suffers from all-too-rapid wrap-ups. So did Linderman follow Nikki and D.L.'s life because he knew they would create a machine-controlling baby? Or something? Also, the details of why Peter blew up and why he couldn't fly away remain sketchy at best. Still, I admire a show that kills so many of its characters. Plus the cliffhanger for next season was ace.

The Office - Bye, Rashida Jones! I will miss you. Overall, this season wasn't as stellar as the last, but it's still TV's best sitcom.

Drive - In an attempt to get me to not watch television this summer, Fox canceled Drive. Which show will Fillion kill next?

Mayday!

So yeah, we got Best in Show at Mayday. It was a pretty nice feeling. Nell won Best Female Performance too, so good on her. She was a real trooper for, y'know, flying out to LA to visit and be in our movie. Thanks again to the Unlimited gang.

Decent crop of movies this year. Team Meat's entry was simple and funny. Yaiza is a champ. Also, John wins a thousand points for the line "Don't get ice!" Team Lower Gatsby's was shown out of competition, and featured a banana riding a dinosaur who then shot lasers out of its eyes, so A+ for those guys. Team Happy had sock puppets, and we all know what a sucker I am for those. I also dug the Guitar Hero documenatry and Six Finger Fist's kung-fu parody. But if I never see a serial killer movie again at Mayday, it'll be too soon. I guess they can't all be winners. Still, the ones I liked outweighed the duds.

Will my star ever stop rising?

IMDB entry for me that I didn't know existed until last week. My STARmeter is going NUTS.

Oh, and by the way...

SEPTEMBER, BABY! WOOOOO!

Okay, that's all.

My life

I've been too lazy to write about my life lately, but now Laurel does it so I don't have to! I mean, I was there for a lot of that stuff, is what I'm saying.

I just want to reiterate that I had the highest accuracy at laser tag. I kill with finesse.