Thursday, April 13, 2006

The dude has got no mercy

As a lad, I watched a lot of Mystery Science Theater 30000. Like, a LOT. And as devotees of that show know, when a dude hits another dude in whatever movie's being watched, Joel/Mike and the 'bots shout "Hi-keeba!" or "Gymkata!" Now, "Hi-keeba" was a line from one of their earlier movies, so that explains that. A mystery of my youth that I never bothered to solve was what the hell "gymkata" was all about. I knew it was a movie, but figured it to be a generic action flick with a weird name that the MST writing staff latched onto.

The truth is so much better.

Gymkata, for those of you who don't know, is a movie about a dude who MUST COMBINE GYMNASTICS AND KARATE INTO A NEW MARTIAL ART IN ORDER TO WIN A RIDICULOUS TOURNAMENT IN SOME MADE-UP FOREIGN COUNTRY SO THAT THE USA CAN BULID A STAR WARS SITE THERE.

Just drink that premise in. Drink deep.


...


That's just the greatest. Also the greatest? This tagline: "The skill of gymnastics, the kill of karate."

That retroactively makes every MST reference to it so much funnier.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Frank said...

This film is based on a novel!

11:35 AM  
Blogger Alan said...

"Gymkata, for those of you who don't know, is a movie about a dude who MUST COMBINE GYMNASTICS AND KARATE INTO A NEW MARTIAL ART IN ORDER TO WIN A RIDICULOUS TOURNAMENT IN SOME MADE-UP FOREIGN COUNTRY SO THAT THE USA CAN BULID A STAR WARS SITE THERE."

Sounds like a Van Damme movie. Only without the Star Wars, of course.

1:53 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

The VHS only costs $75! It's available used for $24! WHAT IS STOPPING YOU?

2:16 PM  
Blogger Alex said...

I've seen it a number of times, and yes, it's amazing. (Particularly the stone pommell horse sequence).

Anyway, the name of the Lakers' strength and conditioning coach is...

Jim Cotta.

4:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you watched this yet?

If not, do give me a ring when you do.

Mike

1:07 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Alex - "Jim Cotta"? I don't think this movie can live up to my expectations.

Mike - Rest assured, should a copy ever grace my doorstep, you will be the first person I call.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Alex said...

Gymkata actually *might* live up to your expectations. It's so goddamn weird.

* * *

Also checkout Future Hunters sometime. It has young Robert Patrick trying to recover the Spear of Destinty. And it has a chase scene that lasts an entire night and into the daytime.

4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alex, Jim Cotta is the FORMER strength and conditioning coach of the Lakers. Emphasis on FORMER. I think now, Jim Cotta lives in a trailer somewhere in Tennessee.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

About your "Jim Cotta" comment....
Better a former something, then a "never has been". By the way, since Jim left the Lakers, they haven't made it out of the first round of the play-offs.

In the words of Kid Rock, "I'm not straight outta Compton, I'm straight out the trailer!"

6:44 PM  

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