Thursday, October 12, 2006


I got my birthday presents from my parents yesterday, among them the 10th Mystery Science Theater 3000 volume, which contains one of my all-time favorite episodes of anything, Godzilla vs. Megalon. Emory and I cannot BELIEVE the MST guys got the rights to this movie. I mean, it's Godzilla. Emory's convinced that they'll change their mind any day now, but I don't care. Megalon is one of those MST episodes where the movie itself is about as entertaining as the quips, since it features a FOUR-WAY giant monster battle (Godzilla teaming up with newly-created super-robot Jet Jaguar) as its action climax. It's actually not the funniest episode of MST by a long shot, but I loved it dearly when I was foruteen. It also has one of the finest sketches in that show's history in the Orville Popcorn sketch, a bit I found so hilarious that I copied it to paper as a kid so I could memorize the whole thing. "Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy!" is no slouch, either.

Speaking of terrible, MST-worthy films, Emory, Paul and I watched Starcrash last night, a foreign science fiction film that features both David Hasselhoff AND Christopher Plummer in supporting roles. Unfortunately the main characters are a sexy pilot who doesn't wear much, an seemingly-omnipotent meathead who looks like the love child of Roger Daltry and a baboon, and a robot with an inexplicable and somewhat hilarious Southern accent.

Man oh man, was this movie something. In the very least, it provides a sterling example of why editing is important to the storytelling process. None of the action sequences make a single lick of sense. Characters get killed more than once, people who were indoors magically appear outside, and it's all impossible to follow. One spaceship battle seems honestly slapped together from several unrelated takes. "We've got six incoming!" "I got three of them!" "Here come two more!" "I just got the last one!" "We did it!" That is not an exaggeration.

But it did give us two fine quotes for use around the house:

"Mah seatbelt is stuck!" - Southern robot. He sounds like Yosemite Sam. Also, this line is awkwardly ADRed and adds absolutely nothing. For those who know what I'm talking about, think "Watch out for snakes!"

"I've never been there. (absuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurdly long pause) What's it like?" - slinky heroine. The longer the pause, the better.

This is definitely one John, Mike, and/or Feeney need to see.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will have to tell John, and watch it with him to make up for missing his b-day dinner/movie tomorrow night.



11:27 PM  

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