I just want some privacy
WARNING: The following warning contains crass generalizations about the sexes. Pay it no heed.
WARNING: The following post is about going to the bathroom. Ladies with delicate sensibilities should avert their eyes, or hide behind a fan, or whatever it is you ladies do. Women with more robust character, such as those who wear slacks or play golf, will probably be okay. All dudes are okay, too. Because dudes love this sort of shit. Am I right, dudes? Yeah.
Our office is moving to Burbank next Friday. This bodes ill for my lunch hour, since the variety of eateries will be greatly diminished, and plus I won't be right near a Border's where I can just read comics for an hour like I do every Mondy, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday (Wednesday I go to the comic shop). However, this bodes very well for our bathroom situation. By which I mean we'll have more than one of them. There's a single solitary toilet for all the men on this floor. Suffice to say, it's not uncommon to find that which you need most being occupied by a fellow employee. If the situation is dire enough, I head down to the 10th floor and handle things there.
This allows for an immense sense of freedom. Gone is the dread that the head of the company will walk in right after you've finished taking a crap. Who cares who walks in on a different floor? They're all strangers to you! When you're all finished you just head back up to the 11th floor, leaving no one the wiser. And once you're leaving, even if you do have to look someone in the eye after you've befouled their floor's restroom, the odds of you having to share an elevator with them later are slim. You may just as well have beamed in from another planet to do your business.
Listen, today has been the BORNINGEST DAY ON EARTH. It has left me with way too much time to think about this stuff.
UPDATE: Wait, this is just more material for the scat fetishists to find me, isn't it?
WARNING: The following post is about going to the bathroom. Ladies with delicate sensibilities should avert their eyes, or hide behind a fan, or whatever it is you ladies do. Women with more robust character, such as those who wear slacks or play golf, will probably be okay. All dudes are okay, too. Because dudes love this sort of shit. Am I right, dudes? Yeah.
Our office is moving to Burbank next Friday. This bodes ill for my lunch hour, since the variety of eateries will be greatly diminished, and plus I won't be right near a Border's where I can just read comics for an hour like I do every Mondy, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday (Wednesday I go to the comic shop). However, this bodes very well for our bathroom situation. By which I mean we'll have more than one of them. There's a single solitary toilet for all the men on this floor. Suffice to say, it's not uncommon to find that which you need most being occupied by a fellow employee. If the situation is dire enough, I head down to the 10th floor and handle things there.
This allows for an immense sense of freedom. Gone is the dread that the head of the company will walk in right after you've finished taking a crap. Who cares who walks in on a different floor? They're all strangers to you! When you're all finished you just head back up to the 11th floor, leaving no one the wiser. And once you're leaving, even if you do have to look someone in the eye after you've befouled their floor's restroom, the odds of you having to share an elevator with them later are slim. You may just as well have beamed in from another planet to do your business.
Listen, today has been the BORNINGEST DAY ON EARTH. It has left me with way too much time to think about this stuff.
UPDATE: Wait, this is just more material for the scat fetishists to find me, isn't it?
posted by Jeff at 4:11 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home