Enough with the panicking, already

So, Hitchiker's Guide.

I will try to be as spoiler-free as possible, but to discuss some of the positives and negatives of the film I'll probably have to dip into spoiler territory, so beware.

The movie is very funny. That's more or less all I needed from the movie, and it happily gave it to me. It's also, for the most part, well cast and well acted. But on the other hand it's awkwardly paced, and there are a few significant plot changes from the book that aren't necessarily improvements. These problems bug me the more I think about them.

They keep some major scenes and gags from the novel. The Vogon poetry is there, as is the sperm whale. Deep Thought and 42 and dolphins and mice are all accounted for. And Stephen Fry narrates passages from the Hitchiker's Guide itself. Those sequences are cleverly animated. Like safety signs come to life, if that makes any sense.

I'd be amazed if anyone who hasn't read the books could understand a good deal of this movie. The pace is rather hectic, and key lines are often shouted over a cacophony of babbling or laser blasts. I'm still unclear on a few things, like the exact explanation of Zaphod's two heads, or why and how the helmet that runs on lemons makes him more lucid. As for the two heads themselves, Zaphod does indeed have two heads, but one is removed as quickly as the movie can get rid of it. The filmmakers seemed to want it both ways, keeping two heads in for the purists, but getting rid of one quickly to save on effects and focus their budget elsewhere. Ultimately I doubt their compromise will greatly appeal to most people. And why is so much time spent on John Malkovich if he doesn't figure into the climax? He sets up conflicts that never play out. He was created specifically for the movie (perhaps in the effort to give the story a little more conventional structure), but then the movie gamely continues on without ever mentioning him again. Maybe they thought they could have him around for the sequels. As it is, though, his whole section seems unnecessary, like they dropped his sequence into the middle of the adaptation without considering how his presence should affect events. The concept of his character is sound (and the idea behind his planet is funny), it's a cool design and it's well acted, but it ultimately proves to be a waste of time.

But there are good things. Like I said, the movie's funny. There's a great bit on the Vogon homeworld where our heroes are slapped for having ideas that proves to be a sublime bit of physical comedy. And the actors, for the most part, do a good job. Martin Freeman (Tim from The Office) is very well cast as Arthur Dent, and as Emory noted, he manages to make Arthur a different character than Tim. He also has excellent chemistry with Zooey Deschanel as Trillian. Zooey, please call me. I think you are awesome. Ahem, anyway, Sam Rockwell is simply hysterical. It's a damn shame that he's saddled with half a brain for most of the movie, or else who knows what comedy boundaries could have been shattered. As it is, he's stuck in some scenes simply making unintelligible noises. Funny noises, but still. Alan Rickman (as the voice of Marvin) and Bill Nighy (as Slartibartfast) are as good as you'd expect them to be.

Poor Mos Def. When he's good in this movie, as he is in his early scenes with Arthur, he's very good. But then the script doesn't know what to do with him, more concerned as it is with the romantic triangle of Arthur, Trillian, and Zaphod, so he just seems along for the ride the moment they arrive on the Heart of Gold. His performance seems all over the map, but we're given so little insight into Ford Prefect (the movie barely has time to explain what he's doing on Earth in the first place) that I'm more inclined to blame the script and director rather than Mos Def himself. Maybe they'll edit in a few more scenes with him before the movie's released. At least I hope so.

The design is pretty cool overall. The Heart of Gold is a nice piece of work, and the Vogons, designed by the Jim Henson company, look amazing. God, I love puppets. More puppets please, Hollywood. Especially now that Farscape has come and gone.

So overall, the movie's a mixed bag. Funny, good acting, but the pacing, structure, and plotting are a mess. Still, I find it hard to hold a grudge against a movie that opens with a musical number performed by dolphins.

UPDATE: Thanks to MJ Simpson of Planet Magrathea for pointing out that yes, it should be "anyone who HASN'T read the books."